Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
