Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
