I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
