Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
