This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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