i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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