New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
