Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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