He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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