And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
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