Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
