I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
