tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
