I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
