Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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