Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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