ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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