someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
