How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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