Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize