And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Randomize
