I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We have started to decorate penises.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
