Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
