my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
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