I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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