Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I have tasted many bathrooms
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
