id be glad to
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Randomize
