drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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