Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
