So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
