it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
