I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
