Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
