..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
