broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
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I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
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Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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