just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
