How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
