He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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