FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
