I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
he laminated a picture of his dick.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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