Are we in a gay sports bar?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
