eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
