Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
