I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
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I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
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Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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