I'm so fucking centered right now
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize