I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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