She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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