Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
