That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm like, not good at living.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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