Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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