He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize