You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
