If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
