I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
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