so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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