my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Are my feet made of real feet?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
