Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
