yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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