Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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