Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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