Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
