they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
