I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
