his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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