after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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