Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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